HIV activist, actor and writer Nathaniel J. Hall has brought his show Toxic to Sheffield Playhouse Theatre.
Toxic is set in Manchester’s underground queer rave scene and explores Hall’s traumatic past and relationships spanning across three years.
Co-starring with Josh-Susan Enright, ‘Toxic’ is semi-autobiographical, exploring their experiences with drugs, alcohol, risk-taking sex, shame, depression and anxiety.
Hall said: “In rehearsals we both had moments where we just had to sit and hold each others hands and have a cry.
“The compound traumas of what had happened to me when I was younger had led me down quite a dark path and I’d been in this very toxic, co-dependant, at times abusive relationship for about five years.
“We’re often in the queer community forced to go ‘we’re proud! we’re proud of who we are, we fly the flag, we march in pride parades, we’re proud!’ But behind the glittery curtain of that pride parade I think lots of us still struggle with profound shame.”
According to LGBT+ anti-abuse charity Galop, one in four gay and bisexual males will find themselves in a domestically abusive relationship after the age of 16.
They had a trained psychotherapist on set during rehearsals of certain difficult scenes.
When writing ‘Toxic’ Nathaniel hosted LGBTQ+ creative workshops and interviewed leading LGBTQ+ researchers, experts and writers.
The show contains scenes of physical violence and fake blood, but according to Nathaniel it’s also funny and full of “pumping” music.
Hall’s career took off with his second play First Time in 2018, which tells the story of how he contracted HIV the first time he had sex.
‘First Time’ received critical acclaim and has been performed 100 times.
Hall said: “It’s terrifying, I’m not going to lie, and every show I go ‘why am I doing this?’ but then by the end of the show I go ‘I know why I’m doing this’.
“My work is very much for LGTBQ+ people. People said that felt validated that they felt seen, that they’d been through something similar and they felt able to talk about it, they felt less shame. That’s the reason why I put myself through this.”
‘Toxic’ will be in Sheffield again tonight at Playhouse.
It will also be shown on 9 April at Loading Bay in Bradford, 11 April at Lawrence Batley in Huddersfield, and 24 April at the Stephen Joseph Theatre in Scarborough.
You can get tickets for ‘Toxic’ here